Performing Masculinity

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The Playboy’s Pipe

As long as the participants grew up in or have spent significant time in the US, they know what this guy looks like:. Here are some of the more common responses:. And since very few guys can always be in the Box for their entire lives, the trick is to act like you are in order to cover for any lapses. In effect, the performance of masculinity requires constant vigilance to make sure that nobody sees any missteps. On the other hand, all of the words on the outside fit into one of three groups: gay, female, loser.

I think that says pretty interesting things about homophobia and sexism. The way I think of it, those are the bricks that make up the Box and shame is the mortar that holds it together. The Box is one of main reasons why men harass women on the street and why catcalling and violence tends to escalate when men are in groups.

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Since the Box is hierarchical as well as performative, the guy at the bottom of the heap is at risk of being cast out. As a sex educator, I often see how the Box affects sexuality. The guy in the Box has lots of partners, a really big penis, and always gets it up, gets it in, and gets it off. And when it leads you to buy non-prescription erection pills, that can also be dangerous. For example, I once had a guy ask me if cock rings would help his erection.

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    Unmasking masculinity -- helping boys become connected men - Ryan McKelley - TEDxUWLaCrosse

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